Donnerstag, Juni 05, 2003

A love-hate courtship; my ambivalence



If I knew him better than he knows me, this would not be a struggle now.
Time and again I have tried to overcome my fears to resolve this stronghold that holds me tightly incarcerated, the restrictions that bar me from stepping out into freedom. My space to breathe, my life to live. I watch him from a distance. Sometimes, I see him in front of me but he is another entity on his own. One whom I cannot call mine. I have always thought that we could live our lives together and to behold what the world can give us: us as one. The day will never come unless I am freed of this bondage I have with myself. However, I cannot balance these conflicts of interests and the lack of ambition that this bewildering formula reacts with such high inconsistency. Will I be forever doomed to inexistence with you? Then shall I ever find the way to reverse our relationship? I despise this halt to our progression. Yet, when can these footholds be destroyed and allow us to be united? The idea of losing you is more than I can bear. My heart grows faint when you are far from reach. And when you are too close to touch, I warily caress your skin as if you were a fragile child, too weak to hold and too dicey to keep.
I have always known to love you ever since I was a juvenile.

# one caramel latte for the road lili-dime | 12:17 AM |